Whether the Weather...

The weather here is reaching new heights on the thermometer. We've been up in the mid 90's for the last couple of days. Now, you can be a little jealous that I'm in warm sunny weather while you're probably in cold and rain/snow, or you can keep in mind that it's already into the 90's and it's only February. Take your pick. Oh, and today it was windy. Windy in a desert country is no fun. As Iago the parrot says in Aladdin, "I have sand in places I didn't even know I had." Gross.

In other news, my week at school ended pretty well. After two days of not being allowed to talk and doing endless copying of text books/charts on the board/whatever I felt like making them write, mixed in with some long math worksheets, my kids decided that they hands were pretty tired. Now, I have a punishment that they dislike enough to make them willing to listen. Before, I just made them stay in for a few minutes at break. Oh, silly me. Now, they stay in at break and they write lines for me. Yes, the key is to make staying in at break an unplesant thing. If they don't finish their lines during one break, they keep working during the next. And they have to have neat handwriting. On Wednesday and Thursday all I had to do was put my marker up to the board with the threat of writing the name of anyone who was out of their seats and I was immediately met with the sounds of scurrying feet and, "Miss! No! Miss I'm in my seat! Miss, please! Don't write my name!" Or if I was writing names of people talking it would suddenly get quiet enough to whisper. Yes, yes, it is indeed a beautiful thing.

Besides school, reading has been taking up a good amount of my time. I realize that most of you probably do not observe Lent, but I do, and I love it. This year I decided to give up tv. Now, I realize that may seem like a little bit of a strange thing, and if I were you, I would probably think it was weird. But! It really isn't. I'll back up a little though. I started observing Lent when I attended an Anglican chrch during college (if anyone from GAF is reading this, I miss you guys!!!) If you are unfamiliar with the Ang'n chrch, well, I'm unfortunately not a whole lot of help, but here's an extremely brief explaination of what I do know. The Ang'n chrch comes from the Chrch of England, and if Cathol icism is considered the "high chrch", while Prot estant ism is considered the "low chrch", then Angli' ism would be the low end of the high chrch. Prie sts wear robes and stoles and things and use the Cath'c/Orthod ox chrch calendar, but there are no prayers to Mary and the belief in Pur ' tory is not held. There are some very quick and raw differences/explainations. Anyway. Lent is, of course, the season leading up to East er/the rememberance of Js' time of fasting on the wilderness before he was tempted and ultimately crucif'd. What I understand is that it is a time of sacrificing something--fasting from something--in order to remember/reflect, and to really seek to be close to the father. Now, getting back to tv. The last two years I gave up something food related, which I was going to do again this year. I am a girl who loves her sweets, and I knew that would be a hard thing for me to give up right now, ie a continual reminder of the season. But then, the day before Lent began, another thought randomly popped into my head. First, if any of you have spent time living abroad, you know that you usually put on a few pounds (or kilos). I definitely fit into that category. So, for me, giving up sweets would have been just as much selfish as anything else. On top of that, giving up sweets doesn't really help my spiritual life at all. Lately I haven't been spending as much time in praer and study as I would like. So, when the idea of giving up tv struck me, it seemed like a good one. Ususally I get home from school and spend an hour or so in front of the tube, eating dinner and unwinding from the day. Well, if I no longer have the option of just plopping down and shutting my brain off, then I have to do something else with my time. Guess what I've been doing? Yep, reading, praying, seeking Gd. It has been really great. If you've never observed Lent before, I really encourage you to consider it--it really is good for your soul.

Well, I've been at the internet cafe for far longer than I had intended--I still have to get a bunch of things ready for school tomorrow! Shoot! But, thanks for stopping by for a bit. Let me know your thoughts. Oh, and Pastr Dave, would you leave me your email address sometime? Thanks. :o)

~Nikki

Truth

Don't jump to accusations of heresy, but I am convinced that there is no universal truth in life save for one, and even that is more questionable than we might normally consider. But allow me to explain.

My job has changed a bit this week. After yet another frustrating afternoon, I went to talk to another teacher and finally my HOD (English Head of Department) about the trials and tribulations of my class. Given the amount of time I have been teaching, the HOD was shocked and apalled at the behavior I reported to her. Her conclusion: I have been far too soft with my students (she has observed that I am a kind and polite person, which I cannot be with these children) and I should now engage in boring them sensless with endless worksheets and unenjoyable work. I cannot possibly teach here as I would in the States--the culture simply does not allow for it.

I must throw out the window what I have spent the last four years learning how to do. It does not work. It cannot work as it ought to. Wrapping my mind around this fact has been bending it out of shape. I feel like I am being asked to be a bad teacher. But what can you do when your worldview doesn't fit with the world in which you live? I went to collect my salary once (I get paid in cash at the end of each month) and I reached for it while signing my name that I had recieved it. The man literally snatched it back from me. I was not looking him in the eye when getting it, and I was taking it with my left hand: I had offended him terribly. People slap each other often and for various reasons, often times not involving anger at all. My Arabic teacher told all of my students to 'beat' one particular boy in his back if he touched them again. The world here is in many ways about as inside out to me as the honor-bound culture of traditional Japan, but at the other end of the spectrum. I am still trying to piece together which was is up and which way is down, and where truth fits into all of this. What is true? What certainties can I carry with me each day to light my path, and what beliefs do I hold that are like appliance plugs that don't fit the outlets?

I translate this to other, more important areas as well. I belive that there is one Ultimate Truth, and only one door to it. I believe that there is a Word that is inspired and infallible. What I am caused to wonder about is... is... Is what do we keep screwing up? So many people continually get so bent out of shape about so many things. We point to the Word and use it as the finaly authority based on tiny little nuances. If the culture in this part of the world is so different today, what must it have been like thousands of years ago! We're not even reading the original translation of these more than 2000+ year old writings! If you have studied another language at all, you know how tricky translating can be--there are just some things that can't be adequately said properly except in the language from which they come. Lengua. Idioma. Spanish has two words for language when we only have love. Te quiero. Te amo. We have no phrasal differences for saying "I love my dinner" verses "You are the person with whom I have become one flesh and I love you." What are we missing out on?!?

There is even more going on in my head and in my life than I can adequately explain here and now. Do not think that I question my beliefs, or that like our forefathers I am tempted to worship other gods with the True and Living; I will not prostitute my faith. But I fear that we are too quick to put others into a box or a category in our minds and to leave them there--that we judge without understanding half of what is going on. We too often will not agree to disagree. No one may get to the Father except by the Son, but how many different paths will take you to him? I know that my saving story is not the same as anyone elses. I just... I just wonder. I wonder about so many things.

But this I do not question. God is good, and I have faith that He will accomplish his purposes if we let Him.

Thoughts on Being a Teacher

You check homework,
You check homework diaries,
You check Homework Holes.
You check desks,
You check backpacks,
You check the little memo-sheets that get sent around all the time.
You check for understanding,
You check attitudues,
You check your shirt for stickers before you throw it in the wash.

You watch them laugh, you watch them cry.
You laugh and you cry when you watch them.

You raise your hand,

They raise their hands,

They don't raise their hands,

You raise your voice.

You hold the floor,

You hold the door,

You hold their hands,

You "Hold-it-right-there!"

You hold their hearts, sometimes, for a minute.
You hold their futures one day at a time.
And at the end of the day,
And especially at the beginning,
You hope and pray that you do the best you can,
And that when they leave you,
They will hold themselves high.

Back and Blessed

Hello from the other side of the world again. I made it safely back to my apartment in the UAE around 1:00 Saturday morning, local time (about 3:00 pm in Minnesota). I discovered our Ac wasn't working and was leaking all over my batheroom, slept until about noon, scraped myself out of bed, went grocery shopping etc, and was ready for an early bedtime around 8:00 ish. Except that Farah wasn't back yet. Which of course meant that I couldn't go to bed. So I waited. 9:00. 10:00. Finally aroudn 11:00 she got back. We had a nice little chat/reunion and she showed me all of the food that her mom had made and sent back for us and her brother (who also lives here in Dubai). She then told me that her brother was coming to pick it up right away. She then told me that he called and said he wanted to eat some of it right away. Soooo.... Around midnight Farah, her brother Sammi, Sammi's friend, and I all sat down to dinner. I think I finally went to bed around 12:45 or so. Then got up at 4:30. Gross, huh? But, it was worth it. On top of that, school was good today. I had a couple of key kids missing, but I'm hoping that my resolve to spend less time at school, and God's continual blessings, will make days like today more of a habit.

So, that's my brief update for today.